Jack Shellac

Jack Shellac’s Art Shack

The cameras were rolling

filming as he lay the thick color paint

across the canvas. He had a running dialogue going

something about how beautiful it was camping

in the Appalachians. The leaves, the swaying trees

the purple lakes and haunting call of the loon.

He made a joke about not paying the trailer park

driving out early before the ranger woke up.

While he began adding a deer to the rippling

edge of the water, there was a crash.

A boom mike swung wildly.

Jack’s banter ceased abruptly

his ashen face staring in horror

at the approaching sight.

A bear walking on its hind legs

eight feet tall, panting, slobbering,

and slashing its claws and teeth.

It fell over Jack like a shadow

the scenic painting stuck to its hairy back

while the TV crew retreated

leaving the camera fixed

on the grizzly.

Annotated Jack Shellac:

This story was written 2/19/93 4:15 PM 

and originally appeared in my 

PIE IN THE SKY magazine, #17. 

It owes its creation to an infamous 

TV artist Bob Ross and also a certain 

one-eyed Seattle celebrity I worked for. 

There were at least 5 sequels to this, 

each time, Jack Shellac reappearing 

a little more gnawed away.